Urticaria! Or hives, if you will. Caused by an allergy to god knows what. But it’s not really an allergy because INGA DOES NOT HAVE ALLERGIES!
Anyway, this doctor was way better than the other disinterested quacks I visited. He asked me lots of questions and got me to take off my clothes so he could see what I was talking about (yes boys, it’s really that easy), then printed off a fact sheet for me and went through the multitide of allergens I could be exposing myself to (various foods and my cat topped the list). Then he gave me a prescription for Periactin, and I tell you what, I haven’t felt this spacey since I sat for a couple of hours in a caravan in Yungaburra with some certain lads I knew who had a certain predilection for smoking a certain plant which grows in vast quantities in my home town. I have no idea what I just wrote. And now I’m off to the airport.