I’ve finally bitten the bullet and have started a diet to determine what’s making me scratch like a stray dog. It involves eliminating everything that’s delicious, waiting until the spots disappear, then reintroducing delicious things one at a time to see what brings the spots back.
Things I can’t eat:
- Preservatives, colourings and MSG
Things I can eat:
It’s been two and a half days of this madness and I’m not feeling any difference in itchiness, leading me to suspect it’s not food related at all. Though I must confess I’m also eating ‘organic’ steak, baked beans, fresh greens and fresh corn on the cob. (LOTS of corn on the cob. My god, it’s like crack. I had FOUR yesterday). Granted, any one of those things could also be causing The Itchies, but considering how rarely those items appear on my menu, I doubt it.
The thing that’s really irking me is all the bloody food preparation. Chop this, boil that, mash this. I just want to peel back the plastic and microwave it, god damn it. And holy Moses, the washing up I have to do now. All you people that eat normal-person-food and not frozen dinners, cup noodles and takeaway – are you seriously doing the dishes every day? That shit’s ludicrous. I usually do my dishes once a week, and that’s not even a full sink.
Here’s a photo of my manky leper hide, just to garner some extra sympathy (not to be used for any purpose other than that for which it was intended – especially porn. Unless I get a cut.)
On the positive side, I have found some preservative free apple juice that tastes great with vodka. Ah come on, it’s Cup weekend. Give an itchy gal a break.