Give me land, lots of land!

There are an astronomical number of ‘Buying Your First Home’ articles and fact sheets on the internet. They bubble over with information on mortgage brokers, stamp duty and government grants, but all of them fail to mention the abject terror that accompanies the whole concept.

Or maybe it’s just me.

Send me out to buy a car and I’m on fire. I’ll set my budget, throw down a list of features I need, research my butt off until I find a make and model that suits me, then go out and buy the damn thing.

This house thing is a whole new kettle of chickens. You can’t narrow houses into make and model. They’re all fricken different.  Every single goddamn one. It’s an horrific decision making process, made even more unnerving by the $300,000 that’s riding on it…..or maybe $280,000, or even $315,000 – who the hell knows? The price you pay is entirely dependent on your negotiating skills and your knowledge of the local property market.

Then I start to wonder whether I should build new instead of buying established, in order to take advantage of the $20,000 government bonus and save on stamp duty. Or maybe I should buy a house and land package. Or maybe just buy land, and sit on it while it appreciates in value. Then I glance around my perfect little unit with the ducted heating and light filled living space and decide I don’t want to go anywhere, what the hell am I thinking?

I don’t know how people do this. I’m about to have a mind haemorrhage.

On a positive note, my spending habits  have improved markedly over the last two months:

No more issues!

No more issues!

Yep, I’ve tripled my savings and halved my grog expenditure* – I shall be conducting nationwide seminars over the next six months sharing my secrets! You too can go from disco-loving booze-whore into homebound no-life spinster in no time at all!

I really wish I was as comfortable with property investment as I am with budgeting spreadsheets.


*Mostly because Drummer Boy turned out….er, like the rest of them. More on that next time folks.


12 thoughts on “Give me land, lots of land!

  1. Pleh on Drummer Boy. He’s not worthy.

    I love your diagram. Nicely allocated income! I have cut back on wine/booze because I was getting a wine belleh. Flub flub flub. I know if I cut back on the wine in the evening I’ll lose weight fairly fast. Which mean I was drinking too much wine!

    Vodka with just a touch of orange juice isn’t bad either….

    Best of luck with the property investing. Keep researching and thinking and answers will start to trickle in. You have good instincts and intuition. My (wise=old) way of dealing with questions is to “think” the question to myself and then let it go into my subconscious and percolate. Answers come back eventually.

    Sounds kind of “woo woo” but it works. Lol.

    It’s going to be 100 degrees F today! I love extremes of weather! C’mon over any time!

    • I like to pretend alcohol calories don’t count…but sadly, after a few months it appears they really do, don’t they?

      Ta for the advice…I think I do need to to trust my instincts, but when there’s this amount of money involved I’m loath to trust bloody anyone!!

      I had to google what 100 degrees F would be in Celsius-talk…37! Nice 🙂

  2. I hear ya Inga… I’ve tried to find a place to buy… and gone totally commitment-phobic after looking at about 3 and just decided it was great here where I live in a rented flat with weird people upstairs and a lovely view over the sea…. if I get fed up I can pull out the tent-pegs and be gone in less than a month with no serious loss of monnies.

    • You’ve hit the nail on the head Drude…what happens if you want to move to another state or country? What if you want to live with monks for a couple of years? What if you don’t want to be in debt for the next 30 years of your life?

      Then again, what if you don’t want to be paying rent when you’re 80? Sigh.

  3. Been there. It is terrifying. But you’ll be so happy you did it when you’re in the house of your dreams, building equity instead of flushing rent $ down the terlet.

    I don’t know about Oz, but land/home loans are impossible to get where I live. You more or less have to pay all cash if you want to build. Oh, and your cost estimate? Double it.

    My advice? Ask everyone you know if they can recommend a fabulous real-estate agent. It helps if he’s cute. Then, let him drive you around on a Saturday. Look at several homes. Consider condos. Take notes. Bid on one. Or don’t. Trust your gut. Keep looking if you don’t find “the one” immediately.

    • Cheers Kim for the advice, I appreciate it. It’s comforting how no one seems to regret it once they’ve done it.

      Home loans are relatively easy to get over here, provided you have a steady job and don’t have a huge credit card debt.

      I like the idea of driving around with a cute real estate agent all day 🙂

  4. It’s a massively daunting thing. Having bought/sold for the third and hopefully final time last year; whoever said it was the most stressful thing alongside bereavement/divorce has got it about right. Although on the plus side, you do end up happy in the house of your dreams at the other end of the process.

    First thing is the money side of things – you’re right to be looking at it now because as soon as you’re in the process £5k here or there ceases to mean what it does in real life and as the stress ratchets up, I ended up just throwing money at a situation to make it go away.

    The next thing is that money starts becoming of little concern as you have to start dealing with some of the biggest arsecunts in the known world (seemingly).

    That said, when you’re in your new home – and it will be the one you fell in love with, you will just feel so contented. It is a shitty process but it is worth it.

    And drummer boy? He da foo.

    • Ugh you’re so right, you might as well be playing with monopoly money for all the meaning it has – $11k for stamp duty, a couple of thousand for conveyancing, a couple more thousand for land transfer….it’s HUGE quantities of money and no one bats an eyelid. And I’m really not looking forward to dealing with estate agents and mortgage brokers and building inspectors. But yeah, at the end of the day I guess it’ll be really quite satisfying…when I can afford to eat again.

  5. You mentioned this earlier … but the reason it’s so scary is the 30 year commitment. In my case it was “only” 15, but still, that’s a long time to be tied to a place and hope to hell you don’t make 14.5 years of payments and then have to default on the loan because your job goes “poof.”

    (And if this scares you … don’t even consider marriage! Or children! lol)

    But now that it’s paid for, it was worth it. No more “rent!” Just paying a plumber … an electrician … a roofer … (and I am sobbing uncontrollably now …)

    btw – Lauri is an amateur. It’s been in the 44-45C range here for months!

    • Yep, it’s a bloody long time. I do worry about the job “poof” aspect, but a few people have pointed out to me that should I lose my job, I’d be screwed with or without a mortgage. And I suppose it’s better to be throwing money at electricians and roofers rather than straight into someone else’s retirement fund.

      Oh and don’t worry, marriage and children fall somewhere below ‘contracting ebola’ on my to do list.

      We had a balmy top of 9C in Melbourne today. I hate you all.

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