Take THAT, Dr. Phil.

I’m a cranky, venomous bitch. 2012 is starting off completely shithouse, so I’m arresting the trend before it gets out of hand. I’m going to print out this list and staple it to my forehead:

1. Blog more. I enjoy writing, I enjoy connecting with my fellow bloggers, and I like having a record of my various calamities and calumnies. My blog friends all over the world have inspired me, amused me and educated me for many years – all with very little input or commentary from my end. 

2. Get off the internet. I know this appears to contradict point one, but there’s good internet and bad internet. Quality blogs and anything Game of Thrones related are good internet.  Youtube, Memebase and Lamebook are bad internet. It’s a complete waste of time and bad for my already dubious eyesight and intellect.

3. Read more. Somewhere between Facebook and Big Bang Theory streaming online, I’ve forgotten how much I love to read. ENTIRE books, not 160 characters of mindless, trite idiocy. I’m going to the library, and no, you won’t ever find me with one of those satanic Kindle contraptions.

4. Train for the Melbourne Tough Mudder. The redoubtable Emmy was a finisher in last year’s event in New England, and is even considering a repeat performance. For some reason her traumatic narrative has inspired me to do the same. Not in New England of course, because I WOULD DIE UNTIL I WAS DEAD, but in balmy Phillip Island where I’m hoping the chances of contracting hypothermia will be significantly less.
 

5. Eat better. I won’t bore you with the horrifying details of what counts as mealtime in Casa de Inga, but it’s no bloody wonder I’m in a foul mood when my poor system’s spending 24 hours a day grinding through the masses of poison I pollute it with. So I’m currently aiming for vegan during the week (with the exception of whey protein for my workouts), and whatever the hell I feel like on weekends. I’ve had to go the pseudo-vegan route, because I know what I’m like. If I have a good day of healthy eating, I’ll be all “I deserve a Snickers and a bottle of wine and half a chicken now, RAAAHHHHH!” At least if I’m limited to vegan foods, the worst I can do is eat too many cashews – and usually my throat gets dry and I start to choke a little before I can swallow enough to ruin my diet. And if I really have a craving for half a chook, I can save it for the weekend. I’ve had 24 hours of veganism so far, and honestly I feel quite good. Though I suspect that’s self-righteousness rather than improvement in my homeostasis.

6. Spend more time away from the suburbs. Without meaning to sound like I’m sitting here in a sarong with a reefer in one hand and Pringles in the other, I have no connection with nature any more. I grew up in the great outdoors, with mud between my toes and grass seeds in my hair. I miss that.

That’s sufficient work on Point One for today. Now if y’all will excuse me, I have a life to get back.

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28 thoughts on “Take THAT, Dr. Phil.

  1. Looking forward to more Inga blogs. You clearly have a talent for it which you have passed on to GOF, although yours are more mature than his…

    I think we go back to the Inga/Onga days at the old Whitepage blogsite where so many of us got our starts in blogging. Shame that it and Vox have fallen by the wayside. As you say, it is nice to have picked up so many friends from all over the world along the way.

    I see where you’re almost thirty. That’s old. As a matter of fact it’s only 42 years younger than me. That’s how old thirty is. My wife says we don’t begin to get any sense until we’re forty, although in some cases not even then. I’m not sure what she meant by that, but she was sort of looking at me funny when she said it.

    It is true that you can take the girl out of the country, but not the country out of the girl. Good luck with your new resolutions, Inga.

    • Ah yes, Whitepage. I think you and Cat are the only ones I picked up there. I actually still follow bloggers I was following in 2003 – many have dropped of the planet, and I wonder what they’re up to. There was a lot more anononoimnimity (I give up trying to spell that) back then – it seems like you can’t be a little faceless entity any more. Everyone has a blog and facebook and twitter and tumblr…not to mention their dad’s joining up. You can’t just disappear into cyberspace any more.

      I’m certain that’s the ONLY time your wife’s looked at you funny 😉

  2. Definitely best of luck with these resolutions! I am working on changing my diet, too. I think much of my muscle/joint pain/fatigue can get under control if I eat better.
    And, yes, getting out into nature is SO good. It’s really the only time I feel peaceful.
    I don’t think I got any sense until I was 50. But I was always a late bloomer.
    A mud run! That’s sounds like so much fun. I was thinking I might try it last year. This year, being 56, I think I’ll go for a gravel road walk instead. 🙂

    • Thanks Lauri! 🙂 Good luck with your diet change too – it’s SO simple in theory, but it’s just so difficult to accomplish. BAH.

      Geez, 56 is nothing girl, you’re still a spring chook. Have you not noticed some of the actual old codgers tottering around here?

    • I actually think it is, GOM. It’s not an animal byproduct (well, except for the poor tequila worm), and the only animals it’s exploiting are the poor blokes I chase around the pub on a Saturday night. I’ll have a drink with my chickpea salad.

    • You are so right. Oh and if you notice random hits on any of your old cooking posts, that will be me looking for inspiration. Those zucchini flowers still haunt me.

      • Me, too. Made them twice. They were sublime. If you find the flowers, grab them. Then all you really need is ricotta cheese. Anything else can come from your staples. The chive ties do help, but aren’t a deal-breaker, either.

  3. Another person heading to Tough Mudder. Two of my kids are going along and I’d never heard of it before.

    And I’m with Snowy. Keep em coming.

    My New Years Resolution is to subscribe to more blogs. I have added your student, GOF, but I hadn’t added yours. I’m rectifying it now.

    • Oh, really Peter? That’s great! Please tell me they’re as terrified as I am…the whole thing looks horrifying.

      I’m with you, I REALLY need to sit down and add my favourite blogs to my google reader. I find the WordPress system really difficult and time consuming to navigate. I end up forgetting about people for weeks, then have to backtrack through their entries.

      • I need to do the Google reader thing, too. I have the blogs I have subscribed to sent to my email and then WP goes and unsubscribes me so I miss everything. In this day and age we can’t have a decent blogging format? *shakes fist at blogging gods (who are laughing their asses off)*

        • I’ve been having trouble with Gmail having a hissy fit from time to time and dumping all my WP post notifications in the Junk folder.

        • I definitely recommend Google reader, or something similar – it was even better when it used to recommend sites you might like, but that bit’s jacked up recently.

  4. My vow is to boycott WordPress until they figure out a way to alert me to your posts. I did not even see this!!

    You’re going to kick ass in the race, Inga. Go out there and humiliate your competitors (oh, but also help them, because that is a theme of the race – talk about contradictions, LOL). I am psyched for you. And send me an email, will ya? By the way the vow to eat better is a good one. TM diet: smoothie in the morning, followed by healthy protein and grains. Rest of the day, salad and fruit. Greens, baby. Eat your greens.

    Kindles should be burned instead of censored books. I hate those things. My boyfriend keeps trying to convert me. Bah!

    Cheers to the new year, even more so to pissy moods. I’ve been dominated by them. Humbug is not just for December anymore!

  5. Remember a lot of Tough Mudder is psychological. They try to break you down. The stupid number on your forehead is illegible before you hit mile 3 because you’ve been kept wet the whole time. Don’t let them beat you down. It’s a mental game all the way.

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