I’m a cranky, venomous bitch. 2012 is starting off completely shithouse, so I’m arresting the trend before it gets out of hand. I’m going to print out this list and staple it to my forehead:
1. Blog more. I enjoy writing, I enjoy connecting with my fellow bloggers, and I like having a record of my various calamities and calumnies. My blog friends all over the world have inspired me, amused me and educated me for many years – all with very little input or commentary from my end.
2. Get off the internet. I know this appears to contradict point one, but there’s good internet and bad internet. Quality blogs and anything Game of Thrones related are good internet. Youtube, Memebase and Lamebook are bad internet. It’s a complete waste of time and bad for my already dubious eyesight and intellect.
3. Read more. Somewhere between Facebook and Big Bang Theory streaming online, I’ve forgotten how much I love to read. ENTIRE books, not 160 characters of mindless, trite idiocy. I’m going to the library, and no, you won’t ever find me with one of those satanic Kindle contraptions.
4. Train for the Melbourne Tough Mudder. The redoubtable Emmy was a finisher in last year’s event in New England, and is even considering a repeat performance. For some reason her traumatic narrative has inspired me to do the same. Not in New England of course, because I WOULD DIE UNTIL I WAS DEAD, but in balmy Phillip Island where I’m hoping the chances of contracting hypothermia will be significantly less.
5. Eat better. I won’t bore you with the horrifying details of what counts as mealtime in Casa de Inga, but it’s no bloody wonder I’m in a foul mood when my poor system’s spending 24 hours a day grinding through the masses of poison I pollute it with. So I’m currently aiming for vegan during the week (with the exception of whey protein for my workouts), and whatever the hell I feel like on weekends. I’ve had to go the pseudo-vegan route, because I know what I’m like. If I have a good day of healthy eating, I’ll be all “I deserve a Snickers and a bottle of wine and half a chicken now, RAAAHHHHH!” At least if I’m limited to vegan foods, the worst I can do is eat too many cashews – and usually my throat gets dry and I start to choke a little before I can swallow enough to ruin my diet. And if I really have a craving for half a chook, I can save it for the weekend. I’ve had 24 hours of veganism so far, and honestly I feel quite good. Though I suspect that’s self-righteousness rather than improvement in my homeostasis.
6. Spend more time away from the suburbs. Without meaning to sound like I’m sitting here in a sarong with a reefer in one hand and Pringles in the other, I have no connection with nature any more. I grew up in the great outdoors, with mud between my toes and grass seeds in my hair. I miss that.
That’s sufficient work on Point One for today. Now if y’all will excuse me, I have a life to get back.