Keeping up with the GOFs

In case anyone is wondering what spending a week with my parents is like, I proffer the following insight:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dad and I are discussing the moral implications of the pornography industry.

Mum: If I made porn, I’d make the good ones.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mum and Dad are arguing over the necessity of lighting the fire.

Dad: It’s not cold.

Mum: It’s not for the warmth, it’s for the ambience!

Dad: Have you forgotten how much a trailer load of ambience costs?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mum and I are comparing the respective weights of her cat and my rabbit.

Dad: So what’s its dressed weight?

Mum: You can buy little clothes for them you know.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dad and I  reluctantly find ourselves in the tourist quarter of Cairns, crowded with hawkers and overpriced stuffed koalas.

Middle-aged Japanese Masseuse Lady: Sir! Massage, sir?

Dad: No thank you, I’m already a perfect specimen of humanity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If anyone needs me, I’ll be chewing through my straight jacket.

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14 thoughts on “Keeping up with the GOFs

  1. All seemed like sensible stuff to me. I hope you enjoyed your trip. We were in the area last weekend but didn’t want to intrude of the quality family time.

    • Good grief, there’s nothing ‘quality’ about it 😉 You certainly should stop in next time Mike, we’d have loved to see you both.

  2. I speak wiseguy, so I would fit in perfectly. I picture your family scene similar to mine – sarcastic barbs and uproarioius laughter about the idiots in politics du jour. Although fresh air is necessary at some point…….with my family I know the feeling is mutual.

    • Yeah, I think you’d fit right in! Wiseguy is a good dialect to have in any situation, I feel. A sprinkle of bullshit never hurts either.

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