Kim posted a link to this video, and it inspired me to write an actual blog post. Crikey.
I’ve lived on my own for precisely five years and four months, I adore it, and have no intention of living with anybody ever again. Except maybe Josh Holloway if he asks nicely or if I happen to see him strolling along slowly enough for me to cram a hessian bag over his head and drag him into my rape dungeon.
So here are my 10 Things That Seem Normal When You Live Alone:
- Announcing “I’m hoooome!” to nobody.
- Tossing a bunch of shit with eggs into a frying pan at 4.30pm and calling it dinner.
- Listening to B*witched while you’re doing it.
- Dancing. All the time.
- Feeling superior and condescending towards women who are scared to stay home alone while their partners are away, until you have to go to bed with all the lights on and the TV cabinet wedged against the front door after watching Wolf Creek.
- Never renting scary DVDs.
- Flushing…? Huh?
- Toothbrush in the shower, shoes on the toilet floor, wardrobe in every room.
- Working out in the living room with Kendall Hogan, periodically yelling “OH yeaah!” along with him.
- Deciding it’s certainly not ‘drinking alone’ if there’s a cat and a rabbit with you.