Have you ever woken up one day and realised everything you’re doing is completely fucking wrong?
I’ve wanted to own my own house for about sixteen years now. It’s been a huge goal in my life – my entire being has been geared towards saving as much money as possible. I have minimal possessions because my rental unit is only my temporary home. My garden is non-existent, because one day I won’t be living here any more.
Yeah, good one idiot.
Three weeks ago I’d found the perfect house, in the right neighbourhood, within my price range. I had enough deposit. I went to the real estate agent, made a reasonable offer…then went home and had a complete breakdown. I was panicked. I was terrified. I knew I’d made a mistake. Thankfully, the vendor turned down the offer, and it’s one of the best things that’s ever happened to me.
Sometimes we’re so blinded by what we think we want, we never take the time to reframe and assess what our inner being is really screaming out for. As soon as I smacked down that $500 to secure my offer, the fog lifted. If I bought this house, I was tied down to my job indefinitely.
So on Monday, I handed in my resignation for a position I’ve held for nearly a decade.
And it felt a damn sight better than bidding on my dream house, I can tell you.
I’m not anxious about finding another job. I have four months of annual leave and long service leave up my sleeve, because I never use up my holidays. I live in the second biggest city in Australia. I have a skill set that every single business in the country needs. I haven’t seen my parents for any significant period since I was eighteen years old. I’m taking a goddamn break.
So now I find myself in a situation both dubious and emancipating. I have a clean slate. I can do almost anything from here on out. The question is, what? I’ve lost my biggest life goal – well, not lost per se, it’s just been reallocated. I have to reassess everything, and have no idea where to start.
I figure if my goal posts are missing, the best thing to do is assign arbitrary ones and start working towards them. Training of some sort? An apprenticeship? A degree? Prostitution? Illegitimate baby? Spiritual enlightenment?
I made a list of all the things that interest me, hoping the magic answer would leap out at me. It didn’t. This is the list:
- Alternative therapies
- Helping people
- Feng shui
- Josh Holloway
- Green, eco, sustainability stuff
So tell me…What are you all doing out there? How did you get into it? Are you happy? WHAT THE HELL IS EVERYONE DOING WITH THEIR LIVES AND HOW DID I TURN THIRTY WITHOUT REALISING WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MINE?!?