This is a strange and uncommon thing to post, but I really feel like I need to announce it to the world and record it for posterity, because I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last.
I am happier than I’ve ever been in my whole life.
Happier than that magical six weeks after high school graduation, when we were finally grown-ups and bubbling over with sparkling future plans and cheap bourbon. Happier than when I moved in with my first boyfriend and thought I would live happily ever after. Happier than the time I met Matchbox 20.
This is a whole new level of happy.
You know those crazy hormones you get when you’re falling in love, and you just want to run around in manic circles flapping your arms and singing B*Witched songs? I’m just like that, except without the romantic prospect. There’s not even the prospect of a prospect at the moment. Zilch. On top of that, I have no job, I don’t have a house, I don’t have children…in short, I’ve achieved precisely zero of the standard milestones of adult life.
Yet I’m more contented and fulfilled than I’ve ever been. I know what’s important to me, I know what makes me happy, and I know what makes me, me. I’m not sure if it’s a revitalised perspective from my PNG trip, or quitting a job that devoured my soul, or spending the last few weeks with the people I love the most, or merely turning 30 and becoming more secure with my place in the world. Whatever it is, I’ve spent the last two weeks going to bed with a smile on my face, and waking with it still plastered on. It’s disgusting. I would slap myself, if I wasn’t filled with so much love and compassion for humankind and the planet and the whole goddamned universe.
I’m spending each day however I please – drinking tea in the sunshine, wine in the twilight and enjoying a high definition world for what’s probably the first time in my life. If I could share this sense of peace and joy with the world via hyperlink, I totally would.
Apologies if I made anyone vomit.
(Attention Future Inga: DON’T SCREW THIS UP. Also, don’t be pissed off in 3 months when you read this again and you’re back to the nine to five grind, eating water crackers dipped in Vegemite for dinner.)