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Little Sister

After three months of Buffy, chocolate, beach visits, pizza and one-sided conversations, I think I’ve finally broken the ice with Katy. I got my first hug after we both almost contracted hypothermia from a late evening swim, and I tell you what, my smugness and self-satisfaction would have reverberated into space that day.

It’s been challenging, but I’m enjoying what I’m learning. She’s a headstrong little thing, so I’m gradually figuring out how to avoid being bulldozed, and say “no” without sounding like a jerk. I probably let her get her own way a little too often, but that means we both have something to work on.

Bunny

The internet told me rabbits love to play. Your bunny will love to play in cardboard boxes! Your bunny will delight in shredding phone books! Your bunny will need things to chew on and stimulate her mind!

So I went ahead and collected cardboard boxes, seagrass toys, wicker baskets, phone books, fluffy toys, balls and newspapers. My bunny will be the happiest bunny ever! She will frolic while I delight in her goofy antics!

Not so. I might as well have bought her a book of Sudoku puzzles or a Rubik’s cube. Roman’s only interests are confined to dinner (hers, mine or the cat’s – makes no difference), the cat, sniffing things on the floor and lying down. Occasionally she’ll tear down the hallway like a cheetah, which she can apparently accomplish without the aid of a $25 Fiddlesticks chewable tunnel. Ungrateful vermin. 

Here she is after learning to climb the furniture and devour my succulents:

I didn't plant that.

Oh, what? Like you've never had a binge you judgemental bitch.

 

Tough Mudder

Eight days to go! The training has been SO much fun, and I’m fitter than I’ve ever been. Although you’d never tell by looking at me. It seems I’ve mastered the esoteric skill of gaining muscle without losing fat – five months of hill climbs, jumping lunges and squats have resulted in my arse now having its own post code. It’s annoying that my pants no longer fit, but once Tough Mudder is over I’ll aim for a bit of fat loss, but try to keep my epic guns.

Why yes I am awesome, thanks for noticing.

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Things I’ve learnt about bunnies:

Resurrection
They frequently die and come back to life. Roman falls asleep on her side with her eyes rolled back in her head and no visible signs of respiration. She first decided to do this on a thirty-eight degree day, and I had a complete panic thinking I’d killed my first ever rabbit in under three weeks.

Discrimination
They don’t mind being picked up, unless it’s by ME. I took Romy to the bunny vet, who calmly lifted her up, prodded her, turned her upside down and crammed medieval torture devices into her mouth. My traitorous little vermin submitted to it like a trained pony.

Manipulation
When they sit up on their hind legs and wash their faces with both paws, it’s THE CUTEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE AND OMG I WANT TO SQUISH YOUR FWUFFY WIDDLE HEAD

Racial tolerance
They like cats. Well, Roman likes cats. The following exchange takes place every evening while I’m trying to eat dinner and watch Jenna Marbles on Youtube.

Roman: Hey Cat! Look how fast I can run! Hey Cat! I’m going to run up to you as fast as I can, and I bet you think I won’t stop in time! Hey Cat! HEY CAT!

Mini: Piss off.

Roman: Hey Cat! Is this your bed? Look, I’m chewing on it! Hey Cat! I’m totally digging in your bed right now! Hey, look how fast I can run! Hey Cat! CAT! CATCATCATCATCAT!!!

Mini: Seriously, piss the fuck off.

Roman: Hey Cat! Wanna race me to the end of –

Mini: I TOLD YOU TO PISS OFF YOU FLUFFY JERK! *hiss run*

Roman’s been whapped upside the head a couple of times, but they seem to be getting used to each other.

 

I've passed out in worse places.